1 Timothy 4:12: Seize Your Youth! (Part 2)

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12 ESV

After Paul tells Timothy to let no one despise him for his youth, he goes on to implore Timothy to set an example for believers in five different characteristics of a faithful believer in Christ: speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity.

Before I continue, I want you to take a second and consider your speech, your conduct, your love, your faith, and your purity. Do you think that you set an example? Is it a Christian example or is it a worldly example? Today, I want to ask if your speech sets believers an example. If you are anything like me, you could use a lot of work taming your tongue.

Most often when we think about speech, we think about words that come out of our mouths. It is important that Christians use uplifting, loving, and encouraging words. After all, what a poor and destructive example we set if we let one curse word or one slanderous syllable escape our teeth. However, we have all heard the elementary lessons of not being potty mouths. Such talk is certainly not becoming of Christians, and it is not becoming of young men and women either. I do not presume that Paul is addressing Timothy on the grounds of using bad language. When Paul speaks about speech in this verse, he is referring to not only the words we say but the whole of our speech. Do we speak love and encouragement, or do we speak doom and gloom? Do we speak of hope and the resurrection, or do we speak of utter destruction and hopelessness? Do we speak of Christ crucified, or do we merely speak of lukewarm Christianity?

In Psalm 15, David asks the Lord, "O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill?" In the second verse, we hear the answer: "He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend." Truly, speaking the truth is part of what Paul is addressing. Not slandering our neighbor is the other aspect that Paul is addressing. We should not lie and we should not slander our neighbors, therefore we should always speak the truth and speak the truth in love.

There are many Proverbs that specifically address the topic of speech:

Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.
Proverbs 4:24 ESV

Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence, but a false witness utters deceit.
Proverbs 12:17 ESV

Righteous lips are the delight of a king, and he loves him who speaks what is right.
Proverbs 16:13 ESV

Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool.
Proverbs 19:1 ESV

He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.
Proverbs 22:11 ESV

Again, these proverbs address the issue of upright speech that contains truth and love. This kind of speech has been tragically lost today in the church, especially in the youth. Some speak the truth without love. Some speak in love without the truth. Others speak neither the truth nor in love. I want to take some time to look into examples of each of these forms of speech.

Some speak the truth without love. I must admit, that I fall victim to this form of speech all too often. Whether we are discussing Christian doctrines with our Christian friends or whether we are trying to witness to someone that is attacking the Christian faith in a classroom, we have a tendency to speak the truth in an unloving manner. We take up our cross, throw our fists in the air, and fight the battle we were never called to fight without love. We tear our opponent apart, leaving them spiritually battered and bruised. How can you believe such nonsense? That is not what the Bible teaches! I have heard heretics propose less threatening doctrines! That is not Christianity, that's worldly lies! Remember what Proverbs 22:11 says about gracious speech, though. Do not be too hasty to call your neighbor a hypocrite. You might say, "But Christ called the Pharisees hypocrites. There's nothing wrong with calling them as we see them." Let's not forget, there was only one man that could ever call his neighbor a hypocrite without being a hypocrite himself, and that was our Lord Jesus Christ. Let us also not forget what Christ said as he was slandered and mocked by the scribes: "He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth." (Isaiah 53:7) There is much wisdom behind the old saying, "If you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all."

Some speak in love without truth. Each of us knows a time in our lives when we comforted someone dealing with pain and suffering, but we did not tell them where they could truly find solace from their pain. We turned them to counselors and friends. We patted them on the back, and told them it will all be okay. However, we did not speak the truth. We did not tell them about the fountains of life that are found in Christ our Savior. Whether we were ashamed of the truth, afraid that the truth would only make things worse, or whether we really didn't think that it was a good time to speak the Gospel truth, we all have spoken words of love without the truth. There is nothing more loving than the truth. "Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another." (Ephesians 4:25)


Finally, there are still others of us that are inclined to neither speak the truth or speak in love. The Word has nothing nice to say about those that speak lies of hate:

In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, "There is no God." His ways prosper at all times; your judgments are on high, out of his sight; as for all his foes, he puffs at them. He says in his heart, "I shall not be moved; throughout all generations I shall not meet adversity." His mouth is filled with cursing and deceit and oppression; under his tongue are mischief and iniquity. He sits in ambush in the villages; in hiding places he murders the innocent. His eyes stealthily watch for the helpless; he lurks in ambush like a lion in his thicket; he lurks that he may seize the poor; he seizes the poor when he draws him into his net.
Psalms 10:4-9 ESV

Besides speaking truth in love to one another, we must also remember our speech about others behind their backs. We all gossip, and what a tragic thing it is. Immediately after hearing something juicy about someone we know, we turn to our other friends and spread the rumor. This is indeed a very popular past time of the youth. And before any of the young men find themselves pointing the finger at young ladies, both men and women struggle with this terrible disease. It is infectuous and it is contagious. We have all been in a situation where we are sharing in a conversation with a group of our friends and someone starts to gossip. Odds are, when it is all said and done, the whole group will have joined in the gossip. This is not Christian speech. This is neither truthful nor loving. When we gossip, we are acting like the wicked man that says, "There is no God." How are we loving our neighbor by spreading lies and slanderous thoughts? Let us not be infected by the guiles of gossips and busybodies.  In 1 Timothy 5, shortly after Paul tells Timothy to prevent young widows from becoming gossips he says, "For some have already strayed after Satan" (1 Timothy 5:15). Certainly, Paul does not take lightly the evils of gossip and slanderous talk. Neither should we, therefore.


After looking at what speech Paul is exhorting Timothy to avoid, we should now look at what forms of speech Paul is calling not only Timothy but all youths to possess in order to set an example for believers. All of us can probably recall a time in our lives when we were having a conversation with friends, our speech was not exemplary,  someone spoke up, and pointed out that maybe we should talk about something else. The church body would be much stronger if we set a better example for Christian speech not only amongst the Church but also in the world we live in. When youths are in church, everyone thinks they are so well behaved and proper (for the most part). However, if those same people saw them outside of church, whether it be in the workplace, school, or just hanging out with friends over the weekend, would they still be left with the same impression? If we would be ashamed to use such speak and vulgar conversation among our brothers and sisters in Christ, then why are we not ashamed to use it before our ever watching God?

What a tremendous witness we could have in the world by being set apart in the way we talk. We might be teased and mocked, but we should find comfort that we are not bearing the Lord's name in vain. No, I am not speaking about using the Lord's name as a cuss word. I am speaking about placing Christ's name on your forehead, labeling yourself as a Christian, but continually testifying by your unrestrained speech that you are still very much enamored by the world's and Satan's devices. Would it not be better to speak up and suggest that the group talk about something more truthful and loving and be mocked for it than to join in and sin? Let's not take our words and speech lightly. Never neglect to set the believers (and non-believers alike) an example in your speech.

As Christians, youths or not, we must set an example in our speech. So much is said throughout the Bible about the power of our speech. It will either lead us to glory and honor in Christ, or it will lead us to the depths of Sheol. We would be wise to monitor our lips and bridle our tongues. I could write a longer exposition on what Paul is exhorting us to here in these verses, but I think that James 3 is concise and direct to the point. Scripture is best interpreted by Scripture. Read and heed these God-breathed words of James:

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
James 3:1-18

1 Timothy 4:12: Seize Your Youth! (Part 1)

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12 ESV

Does age matter? You might be thinking that this is a silly question. You might respond, "Of course it does! After all, we can't have a 25 year old man running our country. We can't expect a 12 year old girl to raise a family of five. We can't possibly be mislead and believe that a five year old is capable of driving an eighteen wheeler across the country. Does age matter? Yes! Of course age matters!"

I would respond by saying that you are exactly right. Age does matter. Especially concerning your Christian walk. Let no one despise you for your youth. These words of Paul to his beloved pupil Timothy resound in the Holy Scriptures today for our teaching and study. These words call the youth to let no one despise them because of their age. Most importantly, they should not despise themselves because of their age.

As we look at the Christian church today, we see a large number of youth. The church has no shortage of youth, and that is certainly a blessing. However, the church does seem to have a shortage of young adults. The Christian church today is not retaining the youth within our midst. As youth groups flourish, as youth ministries grow, as the church branches out and contorts itself to appeal more and more to youth, we have to ask ourselves why the retention of youth is low. Have we despised them for their youth?

I grew up attending a church with a youth group. I cannot speak for every youth group, but I can testify to the gross neglect of the spiritual needs for the youth within my own. Our youth pastors were often not chosen for their theological prowess but their radical dudeness. Often, they were chosen to be our pastor because the church thought that the youth would find a young guy (not much older than ourselves) covered in tattoos with his nipples pierced more appealing than a man of the Word that wore flannel shirts and knee-high socks. We did not meet in the conventional church building with the rest of our Christian brethren, but we walked across the street to Wendy's where we enjoyed frosties and fries. We were never encouraged to bring our Bibles with us, and most of the youth did not. We were never encouraged to bring our Bibles because we really didn't need them for the "preaching" that our youth pastor shared Sunday mornings. Do good in school, love your neighbor, obey your parents, don't do drugs, and most of all, have fun being in church! Not only did these meetings leave me lacking any intellectual theology but they severely crippled me in my faith. I was a skeptic from the day I was born, and I never accepted anything we discussed on face value, but there were many others there that found the message appealing and ran with it.

With youth groups like these, is it any wonder we do not retain our youth in the church anymore? Can we really be surprised that our youth are leaving the church in droves once they move out of the house and are no longer dragged to church by their parents? Can we honestly say that we are surprised that our frosty eating youth that have been taught to do good in school and stay away from drugs by a guy covered in tattoos with pierced nipples do not find an orderly church service where Bibles are necessary appealing? Who are we kidding? Only ourselves.

Let no one despise you for your youth! As the leaders of the church, this passage should be read, "Do not despise them for their youth." What is the difference between a 20 year old man walking by faith and a 40 year old man walking by faith? 20 years, yes, but they are both walking by faith. They are both being led by the same Holy Spirit. They are both saved by the same grace of God. They both call Jesus their Lord and Savior. They both believe the Word of God to be just that, the words of God, an infallible guide to faith and life! 20 years of life experience separate them, but God's Word and teachings are as much available for study and meditation to the youth as it is to a 40 year old man.

Are our youth encouraged to worship with the adults? Are our youth expected to sit under the same preaching of the Gospel as their parents? Are our youth encouraged to meditate and search the Scriptures in devotion and sincerity of heart like the adults? Do our youth know truly and completely that the promises laid forth in the Scriptures are for them as covenant members of the body of Christ, and that they need to consciously and actively pursue God's sovereign will for their lives as such members? Are our youth encouraged to actively participate in the church government and to volunteer to help with church functions with important roles? Or are they merely segregated from the rest of the congregation, taught to avoid drugs and friends that steal, and that the whole purpose for going to church is to have a good time?

I was about 13 or 14 years old, and my family and I were now attending a new church. There was no youth group. Instead, the youth were expected to sit in with the rest of the congregation under the preaching of the Word by an ordained minister. For Sunday school, instead of huddling into a fast-food joint to eat fries and talk about how to be a better teenager, I went through the shorter catechism with others my age led by two young men that were Biblically and theologically sound to teach the class. The most stark contrast, however, was when my new pastor walked up to me after the morning worship service and asked if I had ever considered a call to the ministry. I was completely taken aback! I'm only 14 years old and this man is asking me if I've considered being a pastor?! I hardly consider what I'm going to eat at the end of the day, let alone what I'm going to do with my life. Does he seriously think that I, a youth, consider how God could use me in His kingdom, for the advancement of His Gospel truth, and the teaching and preaching of Christ and Him crucified to every tribe and nation? Although I did not consider seriously the implacations of what my pastor was asking of me at the time, that incident has stuck in my mind for several years and I recollect it now when I see and appreciate God's calling for my life.

As youths, this imperative is not completely passive. You are included in the "no one" that Paul speaks about here. Let no one despise you for your youth, and that includes you! Don't fall victim to the mind frame that the modern Evangelical church has on youth. They would like you to believe that a watered down Gospel is good enough for you because of your age. You don't need to know the meat of the Gospel because you're too young yet. They'd rather you choose a career where you can be successful, get married, have children, and raise them into their youthful years before you take the Gospel truth seriously. Let no one, however, despise you for your youth! Well, you don't have much control over how they treat you. How are you going to let no one despise you for your youth if they won't take you seriously? Take yourself seriously! Take your walk with the Lord seriously! Take your call as a covenant member of the body of Christ seriously! Do not despise your own youth!

I know the frame of mind because I fell victim to it once too. I'm too young to take my spiritual walk with the Lord seriously. I'm only in high school and all I do is take tests, play video games, and do homework. I'm obviously of no real importance or influence to the Kingdom of God. I'll put off studying the Bible, meditating on it day and night, considering my call to the ministry, and prayerfully considering my membership to the body of Christ until it seems more convenient and purposeful. Do not, however, despise your own youth. You are in the prime of your life. You have the incredible blessing of faith and God's grace at a young age. Use this to your advantage and for God's glory! You have the great privilege of knowing God and studying His Word without the numerous distractions that come with age. You seem to have a blank slate ahead of you, to make the most of your life for God's glory and for the advancement of Christ Jesus and His Gospel truth. Do not despise this! Take hold of it! Grasp it and cherish it! Do not neglect this wonderful blessing of the Lord, but claim it as your own and seek to use it for God's glory. Don't bury this treasure in the ground, waiting for the right opportunity to dig it up and cash it in for it's face value. Invest your time wisely in your youth, and use every last opportunity you have to seek to give no one any reason to despise your for your youth. Make yourself known as a member of the Church of Christ! Make yourself necessary in the body! Give yourself completely as a faithful servant of Christ in your youth and watch God bless your faithfulness and devotion!

Timothy is a wonderful example of a man in his youth that went off to change the world. Paul didn't see Timothy and despise his youth. Paul didn't say, "He's only a mere child compared to me. What can he possibly know about God and His everlasting Kingdom?" No, Paul recognized that the same Spirit of God that dwelt within him dwelled inside of Timothy. The same Spirit at work in Paul's life and ministry was at work in Timothy's life and ministry. Saving faith and faithful preaching are not primarily the result of scholarship, study, and intelectual prowess. No, they are primarily the result of the grace of God and the work of the Holy Spirit. There is nothing that a 60 year old man can do in regards to salvation and works of faith that a 20 year old man can't do. Both men can do no good thing of their own accord. Both men must rely on God's grace for salvation and the work of the Spirit to bear any good fruit in their works. Let no one despise you for your youth!

In closing, I want to remind you of the story of Job. Here was a man who was righteous in his own eyes. He was old, wise, and faithful to God. He was surrounded by three friends who knew that Job was not righteous but did not have an answer for his suffering. For three fourths of the book, Job and his three friends, wise in years and understanding, bicker back and forth about how Job is not righteous and yet they cannot answer Job's question of "Why has this happened to me?" In the 32nd chapter of the book, Elihu, a mere youth compared to the old men, cannot bite his tongue any longer. He cannot stand the way these men tip-toe around the answer they're looking for, but are too proud to be humbled by the truth. In light of all that I have just shared with you about not allowing anyone to despise you for your youth, read and meditate on the words of young Elihu as he rebukes Job and his three older friends:

So these three men ceased to answer Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. Then Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, burned with anger. He burned with anger at Job because he justified himself rather than God. He burned with anger also at Job's three friends because they had found no answer, although they had declared Job to be in the wrong. Now Elihu had waited to speak to Job because they were older than he. And when Elihu saw that there was no answer in the mouth of these three men, he burned with anger. And Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite answered and said: 

"I am young in years, and you are aged; therefore I was timid and afraid to declare my opinion to you. I said, 'Let days speak, and many years teach wisdom.' But it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand. It is not the old who are wise, nor the aged who understand what is right. Therefore I say, 'Listen to me; let me also declare my opinion.' 

"Behold, I waited for your words, I listened for your wise sayings, while you searched out what to say. I gave you my attention, and, behold, there was none among you who refuted Job or who answered his words. Beware lest you say, 'We have found wisdom; God may vanquish him, not a man.' He has not directed his words against me, and I will not answer him with your speeches. 

"They are dismayed; they answer no more; they have not a word to say. And shall I wait, because they do not speak, because they stand there, and answer no more? I also will answer with my share; I also will declare my opinion. For I am full of words; the spirit within me constrains me. Behold, my belly is like wine that has no vent; like new wineskins ready to burst. I must speak, that I may find relief; I must open my lips and answer. I will not show partiality to any man or use flattery toward any person. For I do not know how to flatter, else my Maker would soon take me away.
Job 32:1-22 ESV

"But now, hear my speech, O Job, and listen to all my words. Behold, I open my mouth; the tongue in my mouth speaks. My words declare the uprightness of my heart, and what my lips know they speak sincerely. The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life. Answer me, if you can; set your words in order before me; take your stand. Behold, I am toward God as you are; I too was pinched off from a piece of clay. Behold, no fear of me need terrify you; my pressure will not be heavy upon you."
Job 33:1-7 ESV